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Understand This (2019)

from Raining On A Starry Night by Existential Despondency

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NYC, 2019.

lyrics

10 UNDERSTAND THIS
Don't let them tell you you're too young for this- a mid life crisis,
they don't hardly know where your life is.
Can't wait till forty-five, Lord knows how long you'll survive in a world like this-
go fund those bills for what keeps you alive;
Quarter to a century that most don't make-
but even half feels like an achievement, make no mistake.
When I see those from across that line I’m awed, but my second take-
how long till you're taken?
They'll laugh and say “kid, you're still young" and in a a sense, they're right-
you've only just begun to feel it: the aches, time won't heal this- but at least.
we're still. having. fun...

So call it what you will because the dice are long cast
And all the friends of all my friends are all dropping fast
You know I wonder, which status update will be my last?
'cause when the air fills with a familiar name-
is it death or is it fame?
I'm scared to ask around these days,
though it won't change the outcome

The greatest freedom I was given was the freedom to die
I didn't know it when she told me but I held it inside
They'll lie and say anything just to keep you alive
But the truth is that they're far too scared to understand why

Understand This: I'm not trying to be fallen.
Understand This: I don't want to make you cry.
Understand This: I'm not looking for a darkness.
Understand This: don't think I never tried.

Understand This: sometimes life is awful heavy.
Understand This: I'm not out looking to die.
Understand This: though I know it hurts to watch me,
Understand This: sometimes you have to fall to fly.

credits

from Raining On A Starry Night, track released May 6, 2019

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